Novel Bin Chapter 937 - Sad Lungs
Xia Ling had never noticed before, when did he start coughing?
She started recalling the day she shifted into her new home and how he had already been coughing slightly in between his words.
Her heart sank. Was Chu Chen telling the truth about his terminal illness? Watching the man as he picked up the paper cranes off the ground, she wanted so much to dash forward and clarify her doubts. But she was afraid, what if it really was the truth? What was she to do? Eventually, she just stood by the door as her mind spun.
Pei Ziheng picked up each and every piece and smoothed the folds out before placing them back in the slightly damaged box. Thereafter, he clasped the hasps carefully, tried to salvage the damage on the surface, and then used his sleeves to wipe the dirt off.
Xia Ling felt her nose scrunch up a little. He had always been someone so particular about his image and had never been willing to stoop to the level of cleaning something with his pristine sleeves.
A while later when he was finally done dusting the box, he stood up and saw her. He was a little stunned.
He had not had the time to hide his fatigue and sadness and hence, tried to force a smile out, which turned out a little awkward. “Xiao Ling.” His voice was a little hoarse, but that did not conceal his pleasant surprise.
She could not keep it in any longer. “Pei Ziheng! Don’t even think that you can use Chu Chen to lie to me, coming up with those absurd stories to win me back!”
He was a little confused. “What?”
She yelled at him, “You’re still pretending! Chu Chen said you have cancer! What a joke, you’re so strong, how could you possibly be down with that illness?! Can’t you think of a better lie?!”
He looked downwards and tried to hide his expression.
A while later, he said, “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have gotten Chu Chen to lie to you.”
Her heart sank to the pits. Having spent 20-odd years with him over two lifetimes, she knew him all too well. She knew that if he had really been lying to her, he wouldn’t be admitting it so readily. “It’s true, isn’t it?” Her voice trembled.
But Pei Ziheng said, “I was lying to you.”
“Then what did you call me for the other night?”
He kept quiet, knowing exactly which night she was referring to—that day, she had witnessed Valiant Song’s tragic death and passed out from it. While she was sent to the hospital for emergency treatment, he had been shot by Li Lei. Chu Chen sent him to the hospital for treatment, and he underwent a full body checkup...
That was the night he was diagnosed with the terminal illness...
He held onto the report and had a hard time trying to fall asleep in the luxurious single ward. Scrolling through his contacts list, he realized that there was no one he could turn to. Before he knew it, he was already dialing her number, but his call was declined.
His expression was ashen.
Xia Ling composed herself. “What sort of cancer?”
Pei Ziheng took a long pause before saying, “Lung cancer.”
“Show me the report.” She wished it was a dream.
“Xiao Ling...”
“Show it to me!” She yelled, unable to suppress her emotions. “Pei Ziheng, you monster, maniac, devil, beast! It’s bad enough that you’re torturing others, why can’t you let yourself off?! You’re already so ill and you should be lying in a hospital bed, why did you come all the way to look for me?! Do you want to die even earlier?! Pei Ziheng, this is all a result of your own doing!”
With each word she scolded, he looked more dismal than before.
Xia Ling lost all rationality and went forward to grab him by the collar. “You beast! Haven’t you hurt me enough all these years?! And now you’re still manipulating me?! Finally... finally, Li Lei and I are about to live blissfully... we’ve got so many children, our own life... awaiting the arrival of our baby... b-but you... you actually fell ill... how could you?”
She choked on her words and her voice got weaker as she spoke.
Pei Ziheng looked even more forlorn than before. He looked at her helplessly.
“Pei Ziheng...” she cried while grabbing tightly onto his collar, barely able to stand. “You’re so mean, but why, why can’t I get over you... if anything were to happen to you, h-how am I supposed to live in bliss peacefully...?”
Her voice got increasingly hoarse as her grip loosened.
He did not expect her to utter such words and reached out to embrace her. “Xiao Ling, I’m sorry, I’m sorry...” He repeated it over and over despite her struggles.
That day, Xia Ling followed him home and went through the report.
Nanny Zhou was wiping her tears by the side while telling her, “Miss Ling, you don’t know how sad Mister has been all these years... Ever since you left, he hasn’t had a good night’s sleep. He often wakes up in the middle of the night thinking that you’re still around, and he’d ask me, ‘Where’s Xiao Ling?’ In order not to think about you, Mister spent all his time at work, but how could he possibly stop missing you? He kept it all in his heart... Slowly, he began coughing, but he still refused to see the doctor...” Nanny Zhou sobbed. “The other day, Mr. Chu finally got him to take a test, and the doctor said it was sad lungs...”
The elderly nanny was crying very hard.
Xia Ling was holding in her tears too. She read through the entire report in one sitting: cancer, late-stage, and all sorts of medical terms she vaguely remembered including “metastasis”, “radiotherapy” and the like...
Xia Ling felt herself go weak. She had no idea what to do, it was almost as if her world was crumbling. In fact, she was gripped with more fear now than when she saw Li Lei fall off the cliff. Because she knew that if anything were to happen to Li Lei, she could die with him in the name of love. But what if Pei Ziheng was the one?
He was her god, her sky, her undying mentor, father, senior...
And the love and hate of two lifetimes.
She used to think that he was indestructible, that he could stand tall even if a calamity were to befall him. Only now did she realize that he was a man of flesh and blood, a man who would age and die too. Maybe a turning point in life was all it took for him to leave this world for good...
She did not know how she ended up at home.
Li Lei completed his tasks early that day and was preparing some delicacies at home while waiting for her return. He saw how she looked and got a shock. “Xiao Ling, what happened to you?!”
She shook her head and murmured, “Pei Ziheng is ill.”
Li Lei frowned. “A serious illness?” He understood his lady. If it was just any ordinary illness, she wouldn’t be acting like this.
As he expected, she said ever so softly, “Cancer.”
She curled up on the sofa and hugged her knees. She asked, neither to herself nor to Li Lei in particular, “If he dies, what’s to happen?” Although she had a family now, her parents, husband, and adorable children, nobody could ever replace him in her heart...
As much as she hated him...
He would always be the one who got her out of the orphanage, the one who raised her.